God is good to grow people, and He is good to provide opportunities for growth in our dependency. The students on project have been here for about a week, and I can already see how God is at work in my life, in the lives of the students and staff, and in the people of LA. God is so glorified in us stepping out in faith and realizing that God must come through for our plans to work out. Even in this first week, I have been encouraged by this, and it has been so cool to see our project set the precedent for these steps of faith.
On Saturday, as a staff team, we evaluated our finances on project, and we had a deficit. We came to the conclusion that as a project we needed to take time out in our schedule and make phone calls to raise more support and allow people to partner in ministry as we reach LA.To be honest, fear crippled me as I figured out that even though I had raised full support I was still challenged to call five people. I personally had never had to call for support to come in, but it always came in on its own. Nevertheless, on Sunday, we gathered as an entire project and talked about how we can grow in our reliance on the Lord by stepping out in faith. Before we called anyone, we entered into a brief time of prayer where we brought our needs before God and submitted to His sovereignty, and God spoke so loudly encouraging my heart that He would provide every need for us. In our time before the throne, God began speaking names to me, and I obediently wrote them down. There were still nerves, but I had confidence that "my God will meet all [our] needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19). From there on, I had seen call after call that God had orchestrated perfectly. My very first call was met by a generous donation because God had showed him in scripture that he was to be a cheerful giver, and God also gave him the opportunity to walk in scripture. Praise the Lord for a chance to live out His word! Another call was with an old project friend who was in LA two years ago with me. As I caught up with him about project and LA, he had told me that he was just praying for our project and the students. God made a divine appointment for me to share our situation, and he was overjoyed to be able to partner along with us, knowing the very type of ministry that we are doing this summer. About two hours later, our team reported back to each other, and God had exceeded our goal! Truly He has blessed us that we might be a blessing to others.
I think that one of the biggest things that God is teaching me is that I live in a world surrounded by lies, and so often, I believe the lies that they feed me. In fact, it sometimes becomes such a problem that I will place lies in the thoughts of others about me before I even give them a chance to show me that they do not think that about me. Sound confusing? For example, when we first discussed calling people, my thoughts immediately go to the lies that no one will want to give. They, of course, will be so put off by my calling them, and they will get mad for asking. When I go about life this way, it is so easy to let lies permeate my thoughts, and it becomes harder to distinguish the truth from the lies. But when the lies that I tell myself come against the truth of who God is and what His word says, the sword of the Spirit penetrates until the truth is the only one that prevails. Philippians 4:8, 9 reads, "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and seen in me--practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." This is how I am to combat the lies that ring so loudly in my head. If Satan can consume our thoughts with anything besides the truth, the battle is practically lost. I must daily renew and wash over myself with scripture, so the truth may prevail.
I have learned so much, and I am thankful that God is growing me closer to Him while I am here. Everyone on our team has felt so much confirmation that we are where we are supposed to be, and it is no different with me. Thank you guys for your time and your prayers, I hope you will celebrate the work that God is doing here and glorify His name above all others!
Pray for:
-continued team unity
-ministry sites starting next week
-hearts of vulnerability
-greater commitment to loving Christ
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Back in LA!
Wow! It has been a whirlwind since I have gotten to LA! I got in last Thursday night around midnight LA time, and I am still trying to catch up on sleep. However, that does not mean by any measure that I have not had an awesome time so far!
Right now, the only people here are the staff. Our team consists of two couples (one from LA and one from Minneapolis), two other married staff members (both from the LA area), and me. It has been a great time of bonding as a staff team as well as preparing for our students' arrivals on Friday. Already, God has taught me so much! As a team, we have walked through Fresh Encounters by Daniel Henderson which deals with our need for prayer and how often we don't understand how to pray. It walks through a biblical basis for corporate prayer and gives some practical advice for what it should look like. (For all of you MCF readers, we need to get a prayer night going. This study would be awesome to do together as a body or a small group!) God is so worthy to be sought, and yet, we come to him with other motives. We so often seek His hand without stopping to seek His face first. More and more, God is showing me how my delight is to be in Him, and the even cooler thing is that His delight is in me. Through my justification by Jesus Christ, I do not have to work to earn righteousness, but it is accredited to me. That means that the extent of my commitment or righteousness is not based upon how much I surrender or how much I don't sin, but those acts flow out of the joy in knowing the God sees me as righteous before Him. What a beautiful truth! I am still trying to apply this to my heart and understand fully what this means, but I know that there is so much freedom in that. Not freedom in the sense that I am only free from sin because justification is not exclusively about freedom. It is about God looking on us and saying, "You are good because of my Son." Just bask in that for a while. Tell God how grateful you are for the joy that He supplies.
I look forward to the rest of my time in LA, and I am excited for the students to come on Friday. I am so expectant for God to work in their lives because I have seen Him do the same revelation in me. Already the memories and revelations that God gave me two years ago are flooding back into my life. God is enlarging my heart for this city, and right now, I do not know what He will do with it. However, I wait eagerly serving Him with joy until He decides to show me His plan. He is good!
Forever His,
Courtney
Pray for:
-adjusting to the time change
-staff team unity
-students' arrivals
-support for students that has yet to be raised
Right now, the only people here are the staff. Our team consists of two couples (one from LA and one from Minneapolis), two other married staff members (both from the LA area), and me. It has been a great time of bonding as a staff team as well as preparing for our students' arrivals on Friday. Already, God has taught me so much! As a team, we have walked through Fresh Encounters by Daniel Henderson which deals with our need for prayer and how often we don't understand how to pray. It walks through a biblical basis for corporate prayer and gives some practical advice for what it should look like. (For all of you MCF readers, we need to get a prayer night going. This study would be awesome to do together as a body or a small group!) God is so worthy to be sought, and yet, we come to him with other motives. We so often seek His hand without stopping to seek His face first. More and more, God is showing me how my delight is to be in Him, and the even cooler thing is that His delight is in me. Through my justification by Jesus Christ, I do not have to work to earn righteousness, but it is accredited to me. That means that the extent of my commitment or righteousness is not based upon how much I surrender or how much I don't sin, but those acts flow out of the joy in knowing the God sees me as righteous before Him. What a beautiful truth! I am still trying to apply this to my heart and understand fully what this means, but I know that there is so much freedom in that. Not freedom in the sense that I am only free from sin because justification is not exclusively about freedom. It is about God looking on us and saying, "You are good because of my Son." Just bask in that for a while. Tell God how grateful you are for the joy that He supplies.
I look forward to the rest of my time in LA, and I am excited for the students to come on Friday. I am so expectant for God to work in their lives because I have seen Him do the same revelation in me. Already the memories and revelations that God gave me two years ago are flooding back into my life. God is enlarging my heart for this city, and right now, I do not know what He will do with it. However, I wait eagerly serving Him with joy until He decides to show me His plan. He is good!
Forever His,
Courtney
Pray for:
-adjusting to the time change
-staff team unity
-students' arrivals
-support for students that has yet to be raised
Monday, June 4, 2012
Spiritual Poverty
This Thursday, I hop on a plane and travel to Los Angeles, California for the third time in my life. Two years ago, I went to LA on a spring break trip, and I knew that my work was not finished there. Soon after, God provided the way for me to go back for eight weeks that summer on a summer project through Cru. I can in no way express how much that experience has changed my outlook and shaped my Christian faith, but I expect no less as I go back again. Before I went to LA for the first time, it wasn't as if I was hardhearted toward the poor, but I didn't have much interaction with them. We both went on in our separate, very different worlds. As I grew up in my younger years around DC, I knew that there were plenty of poor people in the city, but my knowledge stopped there until God opened my eyes.
You see, I'm the kind of person who will not be convinced of something unless I see the proof. God, knowing exactly how He created me, used His word to show me what my heart's response should be toward the poor. In my quiet times with the Lord, I began to see how His heart breaks for the downtrodden and how adamant He is about justice. As I was desperate for my heart to be conformed to His, I prayed that God would "break my heart for what breaks His," a line that I often sang in worship but never fulfilled in this area. Scripture after scripture showed me the intense love He has for these people and the intense hatred He has for acts of injustice against them. Through the ministry sites that our team went to, I was able to demonstrate this love through the Holy Spirit working in me. Their faces and names were a constant reminder of God's word, and I found my heart yearning to show compassion and speak truth to them. However, it was not until our team went through a poverty simulation where God decided to break my pride. We would go minister to the churches in the inner city, and then, I would go home and feel good about the work we were doing for the Lord. Now, I think it is good to find joy in serving, but this joy came out of pride in myself for fulfilling scriptures. During the poverty simulation, we were stripped of possessions and money and forced to sleep in the parking lot outside of our house, only allowed to come back at certain times. We would walk the streets, attempt to sleep in parks, and visit random shops. It was then that I realized that I had an attitude of superiority about me because as I experienced on a very small level what people go through every day, I realized that my temptations and instincts are not so different from theirs.
This was when God showed me my spiritual wealth. I had read verses talking about the riches of Christ that I have because of my faith in Him, and so often, I want to focus on what I have now. So quickly, I forget that until Christ was in my life, I was spiritually poor. The outward manifestation of my spiritual poverty was clear to see as I went to impoverished neighborhoods. God had shed the final layer of pride, and I came to Him more thankful for how He has made me rich spiritually rather than materially. I began to talk to many of the people that I previously thought inferior to myself, and I realized that they had a much greater grasp on the wealth of Christ at their fingertips. Without Christ, we were in the same boat, but because they experienced that poverty on a daily basis, they understood what it meant to be blessed beyond knowledge in the spiritual. They taught me about this wealth and the joy they have because of Christ.
As I go back to LA, I will be taking a different role. When I went two years ago, I was a student, and this year I am going as a student staff. I will be privileged to lead the students in discipleship, Bible study, and similar things. I will also be able to lead a prayer, social, or outreach team. My prayer is that I come into this trip humbly and allow God to use me in whatever way that He wants, and I pray that He uses my experiences to shape the students' experiences. When I was a student, it was largely the staff who pointed me toward truth about serving the poor and loving them, and because of them, my walk with the Lord is forever changed. It is my prayer that rather than being one woman continuing to do ministry in regards to the poor that I will take the role that points students toward the truth about God's heart for the poor, and in turn, they will take it back to their campuses and cities and begin to show others. The impact is far greater, and I pray that I will get myself out of the way to show others how to walk in it. I look forward eagerly to see what God has planned for this trip. I know that it will not stop after I or the students leave project, but He will grow it and use it for His glory. That is all that I can hope for--to enjoy serving God in light of the truth He has set before me.
Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Isaiah 58:6-8
You see, I'm the kind of person who will not be convinced of something unless I see the proof. God, knowing exactly how He created me, used His word to show me what my heart's response should be toward the poor. In my quiet times with the Lord, I began to see how His heart breaks for the downtrodden and how adamant He is about justice. As I was desperate for my heart to be conformed to His, I prayed that God would "break my heart for what breaks His," a line that I often sang in worship but never fulfilled in this area. Scripture after scripture showed me the intense love He has for these people and the intense hatred He has for acts of injustice against them. Through the ministry sites that our team went to, I was able to demonstrate this love through the Holy Spirit working in me. Their faces and names were a constant reminder of God's word, and I found my heart yearning to show compassion and speak truth to them. However, it was not until our team went through a poverty simulation where God decided to break my pride. We would go minister to the churches in the inner city, and then, I would go home and feel good about the work we were doing for the Lord. Now, I think it is good to find joy in serving, but this joy came out of pride in myself for fulfilling scriptures. During the poverty simulation, we were stripped of possessions and money and forced to sleep in the parking lot outside of our house, only allowed to come back at certain times. We would walk the streets, attempt to sleep in parks, and visit random shops. It was then that I realized that I had an attitude of superiority about me because as I experienced on a very small level what people go through every day, I realized that my temptations and instincts are not so different from theirs.
This was when God showed me my spiritual wealth. I had read verses talking about the riches of Christ that I have because of my faith in Him, and so often, I want to focus on what I have now. So quickly, I forget that until Christ was in my life, I was spiritually poor. The outward manifestation of my spiritual poverty was clear to see as I went to impoverished neighborhoods. God had shed the final layer of pride, and I came to Him more thankful for how He has made me rich spiritually rather than materially. I began to talk to many of the people that I previously thought inferior to myself, and I realized that they had a much greater grasp on the wealth of Christ at their fingertips. Without Christ, we were in the same boat, but because they experienced that poverty on a daily basis, they understood what it meant to be blessed beyond knowledge in the spiritual. They taught me about this wealth and the joy they have because of Christ.
As I go back to LA, I will be taking a different role. When I went two years ago, I was a student, and this year I am going as a student staff. I will be privileged to lead the students in discipleship, Bible study, and similar things. I will also be able to lead a prayer, social, or outreach team. My prayer is that I come into this trip humbly and allow God to use me in whatever way that He wants, and I pray that He uses my experiences to shape the students' experiences. When I was a student, it was largely the staff who pointed me toward truth about serving the poor and loving them, and because of them, my walk with the Lord is forever changed. It is my prayer that rather than being one woman continuing to do ministry in regards to the poor that I will take the role that points students toward the truth about God's heart for the poor, and in turn, they will take it back to their campuses and cities and begin to show others. The impact is far greater, and I pray that I will get myself out of the way to show others how to walk in it. I look forward eagerly to see what God has planned for this trip. I know that it will not stop after I or the students leave project, but He will grow it and use it for His glory. That is all that I can hope for--to enjoy serving God in light of the truth He has set before me.
Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Isaiah 58:6-8
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