This Thursday, I hop on a plane and travel to Los Angeles, California for the third time in my life. Two years ago, I went to LA on a spring break trip, and I knew that my work was not finished there. Soon after, God provided the way for me to go back for eight weeks that summer on a summer project through Cru. I can in no way express how much that experience has changed my outlook and shaped my Christian faith, but I expect no less as I go back again. Before I went to LA for the first time, it wasn't as if I was hardhearted toward the poor, but I didn't have much interaction with them. We both went on in our separate, very different worlds. As I grew up in my younger years around DC, I knew that there were plenty of poor people in the city, but my knowledge stopped there until God opened my eyes.
You see, I'm the kind of person who will not be convinced of something unless I see the proof. God, knowing exactly how He created me, used His word to show me what my heart's response should be toward the poor. In my quiet times with the Lord, I began to see how His heart breaks for the downtrodden and how adamant He is about justice. As I was desperate for my heart to be conformed to His, I prayed that God would "break my heart for what breaks His," a line that I often sang in worship but never fulfilled in this area. Scripture after scripture showed me the intense love He has for these people and the intense hatred He has for acts of injustice against them. Through the ministry sites that our team went to, I was able to demonstrate this love through the Holy Spirit working in me. Their faces and names were a constant reminder of God's word, and I found my heart yearning to show compassion and speak truth to them. However, it was not until our team went through a poverty simulation where God decided to break my pride. We would go minister to the churches in the inner city, and then, I would go home and feel good about the work we were doing for the Lord. Now, I think it is good to find joy in serving, but this joy came out of pride in myself for fulfilling scriptures. During the poverty simulation, we were stripped of possessions and money and forced to sleep in the parking lot outside of our house, only allowed to come back at certain times. We would walk the streets, attempt to sleep in parks, and visit random shops. It was then that I realized that I had an attitude of superiority about me because as I experienced on a very small level what people go through every day, I realized that my temptations and instincts are not so different from theirs.
This was when God showed me my spiritual wealth. I had read verses talking about the riches of Christ that I have because of my faith in Him, and so often, I want to focus on what I have now. So quickly, I forget that until Christ was in my life, I was spiritually poor. The outward manifestation of my spiritual poverty was clear to see as I went to impoverished neighborhoods. God had shed the final layer of pride, and I came to Him more thankful for how He has made me rich spiritually rather than materially. I began to talk to many of the people that I previously thought inferior to myself, and I realized that they had a much greater grasp on the wealth of Christ at their fingertips. Without Christ, we were in the same boat, but because they experienced that poverty on a daily basis, they understood what it meant to be blessed beyond knowledge in the spiritual. They taught me about this wealth and the joy they have because of Christ.
As I go back to LA, I will be taking a different role. When I went two years ago, I was a student, and this year I am going as a student staff. I will be privileged to lead the students in discipleship, Bible study, and similar things. I will also be able to lead a prayer, social, or outreach team. My prayer is that I come into this trip humbly and allow God to use me in whatever way that He wants, and I pray that He uses my experiences to shape the students' experiences. When I was a student, it was largely the staff who pointed me toward truth about serving the poor and loving them, and because of them, my walk with the Lord is forever changed. It is my prayer that rather than being one woman continuing to do ministry in regards to the poor that I will take the role that points students toward the truth about God's heart for the poor, and in turn, they will take it back to their campuses and cities and begin to show others. The impact is far greater, and I pray that I will get myself out of the way to show others how to walk in it. I look forward eagerly to see what God has planned for this trip. I know that it will not stop after I or the students leave project, but He will grow it and use it for His glory. That is all that I can hope for--to enjoy serving God in light of the truth He has set before me.
Is not this the fast that I choose:
to loose the bonds of wickedness,
to undo the straps of the yoke,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to break every yoke?
Is it not to share your bread with the hungry
and bring the homeless poor into your house;
when you see the naked, to cover him,
and not to hide yourself from your own flesh?
Then shall your light break forth like the dawn,
and your healing shall spring up speedily;
your righteousness shall go before you;
the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Isaiah 58:6-8
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